The Inescapable Friend Paradox

Making friends. REAL friends. Do you go all in right away, or do you slowly integrate? Everyone is different, but how do you choose? How do you let people in? Have you ever been through something that makes you back off from others, isolate yourself? Sometimes, friends seem like they don't understand. I assume that I don't have any real friends yet, but I imagine people that do always know who to turn to. But how do you get there? I've always moved around so I've never had a chance to get close to anyone, let alone making friends that last. Maybe I should try a little harder, put in more effort, but isn't the whole idea is that you should be yourself around a friend? Great, another complicated inescapable paradox.