The Perfect Fit?

Cinderella's glass slipper. I wonder if it would fit me anytime now? It feels as though everyone around me has been paired off with someone they love and I'm, well, me. In movies they always have the beautiful princess being swept off her feet by prince charming, but should we all come to the realization that there is no prince? That that glass slipper has fallen off the face of the Earth? Or maybe even my eight and a half sized feet wouldn't fit into the perfectly sized slipper? As children all girls dream of growing up and falling in love, but it almost feels like it's planned. It seems that everyone grows up at a certain time, finds love at a certain time, and lives happily ever after at a certain time. As much as I hate to admit it I have a soft spot for romance, alright it's probably softer than rabbit fur but my point still stands. Romance is something us girls grow up dreaming about but it's also something we crave in a way. The mystery and passion behind it always lures us in and that's most likely why we fall for the wrong guys who say the right things. Have we become so consumed with fitting Cinderella's glass slipper that we have forgotten our own?

Tick-Tock

Crying; I've always found it such a delicate thing. So full of emotion that your body pushes it out in the form of liquid crystal. It's truly a beautiful thing until you open up your mind and ask why? Why are these tear streaming down someone's face? Pain, sorrow, loss, fear, love, guilt, or just plain sadness. I've always found crying such an interesting thing, really. The sound we make is just a few pitches off of laughter and the tears always come to an end. We're always so close to happiness even in our deepest moments of despair. It's almost as though a clock is slowly ticking in the background, telling us to suck it up and smile. And that's just what we do, we smile, and put on a brave face for the world. We all cry, it's an aspect that nature created but why has humanity come up with the sick idea of confining it? Would holding it in truly benefit us or just drive us even further from sanity? All I'm suggesting is that the clock in your head is softly telling you, "Tick-Tock."

Destinations

For some reason, I've always had this voice in my head that has wanted me to run away. Getting away seems like such a good idea sometimes but I wake up and realize that I'm stuck here for two more years. Haven't you ever felt as though there's something more to life than this day to day routine? That you're born to change the world or cure cancer? That you can make pain go away? Maybe I could even bring along a handsome guy for the road trip, or maybe I'll fly away and change continents? It's obviously all up in the air but one day I'll get there, I'll get to my destination.

Lying and All the Reasons Why

Doing the right thing is beyond difficult letting a lie slip out. The truth is so valued but often avoided. The reason why being honest has become so hard is because lying is easier than the truth. It eases your ears and even convinces you of something surreal and perhaps thats another reason we lie, we do it to assure ourselves that the truth has become the lie. Sometimes, if we're lucky, the lie even gets us what we want, but eventually those lies build up. They become an unavoidable plague that is too much to handle, and all the lies and the truth blur together. We can live in a world of make-believe or we can REALLY live. I suppose we all have a say in the matter but to me, I think I'll take the truth and all the glory... and confusion that it brings.

Realism and Lies

I grew up on a strict diet of realism and lies. I always kept to myself to insure I'd never have to take on that diet with anyone else. I always believed isolation was the answer but I've become aware that it's difficult to make bonds when you have that mind set. Dishonesty is something I've recently had a hard time digesting. People who you once trusted can, at any moment, take off their mask and show the true monster that has always been in hiding. I guess I never truly believed in monsters until that day, the day I realized most my life has been a complete lie. I wonder if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again, or even get close, and perhaps thats why I'm a dreamer. I can distance myself from everything and create picture-perfect scenes in my head without any regard for reality. I assume the diet didn't take very well, but I'm glad it didn't. Somethings are meant to be rejected and maybe those rejections will some day lead to NEW "acceptions".

Princes and Damsels

Have you ever dreamt of a fairy-tale ending? Where the prince wisps you off your feet and into the carriage that will bring you to the white-picket fence house? I've always had the dream of finding a prince but I've never wanted to become one of those damsel-in-distress-type girls. If I really want a prince does that mean I have to be a damsel? The typical female character that is unable to stand up for herself and use her voice. That is not me, and never will be, but does that leave me hopeless when it comes to prince charming? I suppose, when I find the right guy he'll accept me for who I am, but is this "right guy" the prince that always finds his way into my dreams? Leaves me wanting more? I never want to settle down and maybe thats another quality of mine that defies the stereotypes of princesses. And if so, do you NEED to be a princess to attract a prince?

Birthdays

Birthdays. A much dreaded word in my mind. You get a year older, a year has left you and you'll never get it back so... why not celebrate?! Whoever invented the birthday party should have REALLY thought it through a little more, but I'm sure they were just looking for a reason to have fun. Doesn't it bother you that we congratulate people for losing a precise year? Time is something that we can't escape so why do we remind ourselves every year that it's never on our side? Really, birthdays shouldn't even be allowed to be announced. Another year has slipped right out of my lungs and unfortunately my only birthday gifts this year were more wrinkles and a stunt to my growth. I so can't wait for next year! Happy birthday to me...

Running to The Future

Why are we so willing to grow up? Do we really want to prance into our futures without any recollection of what laid behind us? I've always been one to wonder about what may happen but I think the past is such a beautiful, delicate thing that I have a hard time letting go. Imagine, altering just one simple step in your past and the possibilities of change are endless, and that is truly fascinating. Most of us are willing to modify the present to see the future or even just go straight to it, but life begins to lose it's shine that way. We are so focused on running to what's ahead that we forget what we have and who we have. If we continuously run will we ever stop? Will we ever win the race and be happy where we are? And when we get there will it be too late to enjoy it?

The Inescapable Friend Paradox

Making friends. REAL friends. Do you go all in right away, or do you slowly integrate? Everyone is different, but how do you choose? How do you let people in? Have you ever been through something that makes you back off from others, isolate yourself? Sometimes, friends seem like they don't understand. I assume that I don't have any real friends yet, but I imagine people that do always know who to turn to. But how do you get there? I've always moved around so I've never had a chance to get close to anyone, let alone making friends that last. Maybe I should try a little harder, put in more effort, but isn't the whole idea is that you should be yourself around a friend? Great, another complicated inescapable paradox.

Leave it to Fate?

How do you know when you'll find someone, THE someone? I know at my age it seems as though I have so much time, but don't you ever wonder when? I hate being at the awkward stage when you just don't know, and thats the worst part; not knowing. You have no idea who, or when, or where. How can we leave it all to fate when it's never fair to us? I know life is never exactly "fair" but don't we have a right to know who we could possibly be spending our entire life with? I'm probably over-thinking it just, I want to be happy. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't be happy without someone, but I'm sure it helps. I guess the overall moral here is that some things are out of our control. Let fate do it's job, and maybe I'll bump into someone. Maybe everything will come together.

We Judge, We lie, We Cheat, We Fold

Do we all have a hard time accepting someone that's different? In some situations we value originality, but when it comes down to our physical appearance or even our personality the beauty of it seems to disappear. We judge, we lie, we cheat, and we fold. I almost find it insulting when people deceive who they are to be something fake. Why do we put on a mask to cover a beautiful face? Everyone's good enough in their own way, but I find that people have given up on believing that. They'd rather be superficial and popular than understood. We weigh quantities over qualities and that forces us to become liars. Do we really want to have to face the world day in and day out molded to what others want? Or do we want to wake up every morning excited to be who we are, to be accepted? I for one, would rather be accepted for me, wouldn't you? We need to STOP judging, lying, cheating, and folding ourselves. We need to be us, be free.

Inevitable Investments

How can people completely invest themselves in a relationship right away? They say it's love at first sight but honestly we all get nervous, we all have doubts and second thoughts, some more than others. But does that give us the right to go all in, when we actually aren't? When we're scared of making a mistake, or of saying the wrong thing? Relationships have proven to barely last forever so why do we sign ourselves up again and again to be torn down, just to feel another heart wrenching breakup? It's almost as if humans are immune to wondering what will happen in the end. We never think about our own death, our own heartbreaks, and our own losses. We push the curious details to the back of our minds and lock the in a box just to throw away the key, but why? Do we get too anxious to deal with it? Too afraid? I admit, personally, I have a slight fear of dying and thinking about my future breakups. But, is that the reason we invest ourselves into someone at the beginning? Because we can't think of the future consequence? Because we refuse to feel what will, inevitably, happen? We refuse to see pain. 

   

Experiences

Some of the greatest minds say to write from your experiences. I have a hard time being able to write from my perspective when I don't even fully grasp it. I'm not saying that it's a completely different universe in my head, but it's grown a lot more complex than I expected. We do grow from our experiences but if we only write from them doesn't that confine us? If we only ever reminisce in the past how can we ever expand in our future? I tend to question everything I've been through, to understand it differently. I just want ask and uncover answers. That's what life is about and thats how I write it. How I write about my life. How I write MY life.

They're Made To Stay

Secrets. Things we keep buried inside our heads that burn a never-ending hole. Secrets never leave, never hide, and they never fade. They're made to stay. To stay a lifetime. We carry around burdens of our past into our potential filled future. We lose sight on what's important just to become consumed and haunted by an internal termite. We cover it up with a smile we once used honestly, and we laugh with our voices that we once used to stand up for ourselves with. We become worn out, suffocated by fear that one day our secret will be revealed or that one day it will happen again. It plays day after day like a broken record but we've lost access to the plug, we've lost our innocence. Every day is just another attempt to forget about it even for a second, a second filled with hope. Thats why we live on hope, it delivers us to each day with our pocket full of dreams, our cries for help and our voice almost ready to let it slip. To let the burden break off and never return. To find the eye craved light at the end of the dark, terrifying tunnel. To find a new beginning.

Risk Taker

Have you ever felt like you needed a jump start to get out of your skin? Almost like a boost of confidence to accomplish something completely out of your comfort zone. Most of the time I have so much trouble just speaking up but lately I've come to the realization that breaking your skin is DEFINITELY needed. You feel like a new person, almost reborn in a way, and when you decide to grow some balls, it's sorta refreshing. More people should try it, more people should BE it. Be the risk taker you've always wanted to be. I mean, we always say we're going to bungee jump or drive a motorcycle but who ACTUALLY follows through? We all have a subconscious bucket-list, but most are willing to give it up. Why? Don't you want to experience thrills and be able to tell the most exotic stories when you're older? I do! If anything I want to leave behind something, even if it's a legendary title thats passed down through my family. I want to be that risk taker I've always dreamt of. Don't you?

Curve Ball

Have you ever been so devastated by someone's reply? So unexpected that it throws a curve ball right into your gut? Honestly, I think we've all been there. Do we give people the capability of having power over us? Do they only bother us because we let them? Most would deny it, however after thinking about it over and over, I've come to the conclusion that we do give people control over ourselves. It's sad really, we should be who we are yet we allow others to change that. Words seem so small, just a few short letters, but they can mean so much if we let them. So why do we let offensive words created by narrow minds bother us?

Blank Sheet

A blank sheet of paper. So full of potential with the ability to accomplish so many things. Whether it being homework, or a scrap piece of doodles it still has an imprint left upon it, almost as though it's fate has given it a purpose. I like to think of people as blank sheets, as long as their willing I suppose. You can't force fate. Perhaps, at the second of our birth we are written upon, given a reason, and every lingering moment afterwards leads us to our words, our doodles, and our being. Some become fixated on work when others are left to the unknown with their artistic abilities. Does the paper describe who we are? Can it change who we are? Were we all given potential at the beginning of our time, and we continued on writing it - without even knowing? Many have crashed and burned but even more shone, brighter than a rain drop perfectly hitting the sun. Don't rip or destroy your paper, just keep it crinkled, giving it a touch of personality. We all should carry on writing, carry on those inspired doodles, but most importantly carry on creating ourselves.

Where Are You New Guy?

The new guy. A new start? All the popular's want their claws in him, we all fantasize over him, and no one ever gets him. Until now? He's good looking, charming, smart, and attentive. How can any girl say no? Well according to a rare few - they can. I've always dreamt about the perfect new kid making his way into the small town I'm from and falling for an average girl like me, unfortunately he never came. I mean, sure, there were a bunch of new kids but one by one the "Somebodys" grabbed them and took them like prey. Isn't it funny the typical motto that good girls want the bad boys and that the nice guys want the troubled girls? Is there EVER any exceptions? Apparently, not where I'm from. I guess I'll dream and keep my hopes high but I have a feeling these guys are forever within our dreams. The perfect princes have become nothing but a myth over time. That leaves me one thing to ask; Where are you, new guy?

Remember

Have you ever lost someone? Someone important, so important that continuing your life without them seemed so impossible at the time? You leave their things untouched, as if somehow it'll will bring them back. You revive all the memories you spent with them just to keep their picture fresh in your mind. I've always wondered how we push through the pain? Do we attempt to forget, or do we remember them everyday just to carry on? Once you begin to enter the secure yet occupied closets and bedrooms, life unfolds in front of you. You realize it's okay to carry on, it's okay to feel what you feel, and it's okay to clean out those closets. But most of all you discover it's okay to remember.

Love - The Possibilities

Love is full of possibility and hope. We hope for our first kiss, first love, first "I love you," and even our first time. What we don't hope for is our first heart break. It's funny that we never give it a second glance, even when those two words have the power to break us down - further than we've ever been before. We always wonder what all our firsts will be like; awkward, perfect, worth the wait? When we finally get through our firsts we begin to realize that there's so many more seconds, and thirds laying ahead that have the same possibilities. The same hope.

Love

Have you ever wondered what love is? The dictionary describes it as an intense emotional feeling for whom you show affection towards. In reality, its so much more complex than that. Is it getting swept away by that one person you can solely trust? Is that love? Or is love just simply imbedding who you are in someone and them not retracting themselves? I'm only 16 but I've always wondered about love, as I'm sure most of you have. Does it happen right before our eyes in the first few seconds of meeting that person, or does it come along with time and commitment? Once you find it can you stare into each others' eyes for hours without even thinking about it? Can you lay together, purely listening to each other breathe - slowly devouring the crisp air with every breath? Maybe someday I'll uncover love's mysteries but as for now I'm satisfied with my daydreams and thoughts.

Paths Ahead

I find myself wondering where I'll be in the future. I've been known to fade away in the land of thoughts more than once. Isn't it so exhilarating knowing that we have no idea where we will end up? There are so many explanations for that such as fate, god, destiny. I have my own idea, I think we all have the ability to see ourselves in the future if we look hard enough and with pressing effort you can get there; have your dream job, be a billionaire, travel the world. There is so much that is unknown in our paths ahead yet it's right there for us to discover. Waiting patiently, attempting to preach hints as to where we should go, what turn to take. Everything that we do, every action we make causes an effect on our future. There are so many possibilities and chances that your life will change. To me, change is always good, it promotes self growth. Have you wondered where you'll be? Have you changed at all? Let your life shift for you. 

Blind Spot

I think it's funny how we remember only the best in certain people. We forget all the pain they put us through just to see them in a better light. Thats when we break the honesty, in that moment when we sugarcoat what we see. We become clouded by the feeling we get, the butterflies. You become overwhelmed with fear of losing this feeling that you pretend you don't see what you do. Even when it's so clearly presented, right in front of us we continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Focused on purely the brightness when we are surrounded by darkness. I've fallen for a certain someone who put me through everything and I was completely invested while he, well, was not. The whirl of emotions and constant confusion was appealing to start of with, but as it progressed, became irritating and complicating. It took me a year to wake up and realize what was going on; I put all of his flaws into my blind spot. Why do we make ourselves think that we can settle for less than happiness? We all deserve someone who has lovable flaws. To each his own right?

"I Love You"

"I love you." We throw around the saying to such an extent these day that the meaning has begun to lose its shine. Its specialty. We say it to our mailman, strangers who might have been a help in the past, and even inanimate objects. These three words were created to allow someone to express themselves when they were ready to present a loved one with a surprise. Present day, our plumber thinks we love him. Unfortunately people have gotten caught up in this that their timing is never right. We should be able to say the eight letters when we're ready, when our time comes, but its almost as though it's not an important step in a relationship anymore. "Hey, how was your coffee?" "Good, thanks. I love you." "You too." And have we even lost the ability to fully reply to, "I love you?" Remember in third grade when the teacher says begin your sentence with the ending of the previous statement or question. THATS how you reply to, "I love you." NOT "You too," or plain out "Thanks, babe." Love is something people can't even begin to describe so why have we forgotten that love is honest? How can you be honest with something you don't fully understand? Something so pure does not deserve to be degraded. "I love you," should be said to THAT person. Say it when you mean it.

Alcohol

Do we find it so difficult to say what we want? We have to turn to a by-product of human stupidity for years just to release our thoughts. Does relying on alcohol make people feel as though they are safe to say what they think? If so, doesn't the reaction just get postponed until everyone is sober again? Most people would argue that we use alcohol to have fun, feel light-hearted, and to forget our current stressers, which for the most part is true. But, once we get into the inevitable black hole of booze we confront these "stressers" making the entire situation awkward for post-party events. It's human nature to drink and explore the false high that it gives you but do we utilize it to such an extent that it is now protecting us? Is alcohol our barrier from probable fear?

Start Showing

I've always been able to put anything into words but with a certain catch, I'd need time. Unfortunately time is never on our side. Without putting something into words I have the hardest time being able to fully grasp what I'm thinking. Why do so many people say, "actions speak louder than words," when most of them don't actually follow these guidelines themselves. Honestly, actions DO speak louder than words but if only it didn't take so much courage to be able to make these actions happen. I guess thats why it's so surprising when we see them. It's time to break our shell, to be and say what we want, to who we want and than show them what we mean. If actions speak louder than words, can you honestly say you follow this rule? Can anyone? Writing what you think says what you feel but doing what you think SHOWS what you feel. Start showing, stop writing.

Happiness, Work, or Both?

Why is it that people settle their dreams just to achieve a certain salary? Have we become so emerged in money that we can't live without it? That we won't be able to live without it. Waking up every morning excited to go to work is what we should dream for, it's what allows us to live. Happiness is something people attempt to purchase with things, but having an occupation that you absolutely love -without a doubt- can make you happy. We should believe in what we do and have a passion for it. In some situations it's difficult to determine whether or not you will be capable of living on you're dream job but if you want it enough, it's possible. We all get to the point where we have to decide what we want, but for me - I want to wake up every morning, just to go to work with a smile on my face. I want to love to work.

Tears

Tears. What do they resemble? Pain? Happiness? Love?... Almost every feeling can be displayed with tears so why is it that we relate them with sadness? Don't get me wrong, most of the tears I have shed are associated with grief however I'm not one to cry when I'm overwhelmed with happiness. Another thing - Why do tears hurt when they stream down your face? The scientific answer would be that the salt in your body's excretion of tears irritates your skin but why do they really hurt? I think they deliver pain because tears are a symbol of our limit. We have finally become so full of an emotion that we can not possibly create anymore. This causes pain and maybe even fear for some. Tears are beautiful really, so delicate that if you touch one it disappears. Tears are liquid crystal in a way. Full of passion but easily manipulated.