Alone vs Lonely

When people are isolated, that is being alone. You can feel loved even if you're by yourself and this is where most people become confused. Society has taught us that being independent is no where near as fun as relying on someone else which forces us to always feel lonely - alone or not. I think being strong and capable on your own is far more self-pleasing than being needy for someone. Don't get me wrong, I've chased and had my heart broken but I'm coming to the conclusion that I can be alone without feeling lonely. I'm capable of it - are you?

Appearances

Why is it that people spend money they don't have, on things they don't like, to impress people they don't know? Whoever said that - or something like that, was seriously on to something. It's because we all want to be the best; the best dressed with the nicest house and the most cheerful family. Unfortunately in real life this rarely happens. Why are we so embarrassed about showing who we are? Media. Most people will blame it on the media but the audience are what gives the media power. To be honest its half true I'll admit, but still does that give us a right to hide who we are? What we love to do? Who we love? Do people feel better when they are in someone else's body? I've been before, but I got so tired of pretending. We should be proud of the events that have made us strong individuals. But in the end, will human beings just get over themselves and be who they are? Or will they keep up their appearances? I wonder who will be the one to wipe off all the makeup.

Sleep vs Dreams

Sleep; a distant parallel universe that allows all of our hopes and dreams to become real. Turning our memories into fiction. Right before I fall asleep I wish for everything I'd like to happen to come to life. Sometimes my dreams and my life blur into one. I've never understood why we think of what we want to happen to make ourselves tired. Does it take that much energy to create a concept where our dreams are reality? Sleep is a funny thing, it's quite deceiving. It's similar to giving someone who is thirst-stricken an ounce of water and not a drop more. It's almost as though sleep leads us on. Sleep and dreams are completely separate ideas. Sleep is just a necessary aspect of life but dreaming, that's something that keeps every human being alive inside. Keeps our hopes alive. It almost, in some ways, allows us to maintain sanity. Dreams may be disappointing at times however everyone needs to be let down in life to understand balance. Sleep is a portal for dreams. Sleep is the tunnel and our dreams are the light. The light that keeps us going.

Love (Part 2)

Why is it that most people see love as a need; Something that we have to rely on - or even someone? Are we so incapable of living independently that we put trust into people we barely know, just to call it love? Just to be with someone? In that case, does that make love mechanical? Cold, lonely, and emotionless. Brought to life for only one purpose - to allow someone else to feel whole. Love tends to make people feel as though they have found something that they have been living without. But is that "something"worth losing the opportunity of having a friend? Is it worth falling so hard that when you wake up you're left with nothing? Nothing that represents who you are, but only who the two of you could have been? To me, love is intriguing, dangerous and full of passion but only when it's real. When it's not forced. When it's red.

Programmed?

As people are we programmed to fear confrontation? Do we resist the urge to spill our guts because there is a chance that we might say the wrong thing? Why do so many people sacrifice their voice in order to satisfy a doubt? To me, saying anything, right or wrong, is better than remaining silent. Its beyond crucial in some situations to speak your mind however very few actually take the risk. I've tried a million times to get out the words but my brain shuts down, my mouth begins to close and I change the subject. I've lost so many opportunities to turn my life around and to turn someone around with my words. To make them walk towards me instead of away. To put things in place instead of flying through tense air. So are humans just programmed to fear the unknown or have we grown into a bunch of nervous freaks too afraid to wonder out? Have we become paralysed before the accident even occurs?

The Free Fall

The free fall. The moment right before we collide with the ground. The moment before we discover love. It's a funny thing really - we name this moment "free fall." So full of excitement and danger yet a feeling that can cause such a mess. No, not the mess that would appear on the ground in the aftermath but a mess of emotions. Emotions flying through the air in unknown territory. Is that what the free fall feels like? I've always wanted to dip my feet into the depths of the free fall but every time I seem to get caught up in fear. So if the moment right before love is the free fall does that make love the feeling of having your body crash into the unmistakably cold ground? Or is love the feeling of having your last breathe being drawn out of you? A moment of purity.

Dreamer

So what happens when the person you feel the most for feels more for someone else? Someone nice, gorgeous, and smart? I know it's so difficult to hate someone when they treat you politely. In my case I treated her right but its pure agony watching him get swept away by another person. In most cases people in my situation would attempt to make the guy hate the girl or make her jealous or even try some complicated mind games. Not this time; I'm going to just be happy for him and mean it. Plain and simple. Yes, I know what you're thinking, I'm going to lose - but am I going to lose if it's not a game? I'd rather have a friend than nothing. And once again, yes, it kills me inside. I just want to run up and kiss him but unfortunately I'm a dreamer. Dreamers... well they dream.

Secrets

Are secrets better concealed or revealed? Once again, is honesty really the best policy? If we all hold the ability to hurt someone with a forbidden secret is it better to tell the truth? I've never really understood why people give honesty a golden throne. In my experiences the truth has -for the most part- created more problems then what it originated from. I mean, to be honest, I have kept secrets from certain people because some things are best left unsaid. However, I believe that if you're able to tell someone a relationship-threatening secret you know that this person is someone you need to keep in your life. In person, I've never been good with words, but when I sit down and think it all through I'm able to figure out what I'm thinking-which for most teenagers is one of the most difficult things ever. It's almost as difficult as acing calculus. But, when I sit down and word all these emotions and make sense of them, its the best time to decide whether a secret worth keeping is a secret worth exposing.

Attention

It seems as though the people who have attention don't want it and the ones who don't have it lust after it. Can people never be pleased? I wonder, is there a someplace in between where people just live their lives without striving to rid themselves of this admiration or attempting to attain it? The saddest part is that people only give out negative attention. "Look at that girl, she looks like a twinkie" or "OMG, I want her legs!" We only give out jealous and down right rude attention so why is it we want nice attention in return?

Dear Diary

Dear Diary. Why does almost every personal journal entry start with these two words? So formal even though present say society has no idea what formality even means. You write dear, to show intimacy with your recipient. How many of you can honestly say you even gave the word, dear, a second thought? I never did. And if this word shows a level of intimacy why do we follow it with "Diary"? Are we so easily swayed that we allow ourselves to disclose our feelings without realizing it. Does the term, "Dear Diary," evoke the idea that someone else's eyes will come across it? I've never been the type to keep a journal. Don't get me wrong - I've tried to write one a million times but I always ended up forgetting it, one way or another. Besides the point, who do we address when we write in a journal? Apparently our Diary, but WHO is our Diary?

DTR

DTR. Define the Relationship. Three words that both sexes dread. In most typical situations either the guy OR girl wants to analyze the relationship to such an extent that it forces the other to back off. Is it so difficult to ask a simple question; "What. are. we?" How can such a small sentence bring so much complication? To me couples that have the capability to determine how they feel towards each other have power, and thats what makes them unique. But, how can we answer that question? In this case honesty is NEVER the best policy, someone always ends up hurt - and normally thats me. Is it so hard to figure out how two people feel about each other? Apparently right now it is, but I wonder why? How come it's so impossible for two people to be happy with one another and not have issues? Do we create these illusions JUST to get out of defining how you feel? DTR should be more like "Decreased to Ruins."

Popularity

I was wondering, do the amount of pictures or parties we attend truly define how "popular" we are? And if so, would you even want to be popular? I sure wouldn't, but maybe it would be nice to get out of my head every once in awhile. But all those red cups and duck lips... isn't really my cup of tea. Plus, that hangover - totally not worth it. But back to it, how do these popular kids become popular? You know the types I'm talking about; the "It Girls" and the "Jocks" etc. The ones I dread talking to and the ones everyone are jealous of. Do their "connections" define them? Do they define ME? Does the universe love looking down and laughing at all the obstacles they put right in front of me? I think that popularity is just another one of their tricks that they are throwing right in front of me. What do you think?

New Direction?

So I decided I'm going to take this blog in a new direction. Instead of writing these paragraphs that question different aspects of life continuously I think I'm going to speak to the people. I'm not sure if this will work better but I'm more likely to post more! Let me know what you think; new direction or not?!

Differences

Do we honestly want to be different? Is that want people really want? If we were all the same would that make everyone feel less insecure, or would our insecurities be driven deeper and become more difficult to find? Every single person has differences that tear them down slowly. Everyone has nightmares that scare them but the ones who face them on a day-to-day basis they are truly heroic. It’s in our nature to search for flaws but what happens when we become so consumed by this that we start to question our entirety? Whether its acne, our height, weight, or even our clothes we all have something that makes us question ourselves. Instead of picking at the flaws, its time to go above denial and look at what we have, what makes us a better person or even a small piece of our appearance. It could be your eyes, legs, hair, teeth, or your personality. Differences may be what set you and me apart however, they can also bring us together. Be different. Be you. 

Love (Part 1)

Growing up everyone has a dream to become something big, something special, but what if that dream could destroy your life. Would we take the chance to claim it or just keep dreaming innocently? I came across something that can take any small town girl or boy and make them feel bigger inside. Its something most people call love, but it seems to be so toxic at times we cannot see clearly and we start to judge with a clouded point of view. I wouldn’t say I’ve experienced this feeling, however I’ve seen people that have and they become torn down over time. The life is drained from their once sparkling eyes and this so called love of their life leaves them, alone. How can something that people spend their entire life attempting to claim end up broken into a million shards. I do, however, know people that have been in love for numerous decades and that spark that connected them from the very first glance is still there. These people are happy and at peace with life because they found a reason, they found the sparkle in their eyes. Many say life is never fair but I believe that love is not always kind or nurturing like they portray in movies, it’s exhilarating in both positive and negative ways. Love is destructive, exciting, mystifying, enchanting, and most of all colorful. 

Trust

Trust. Five letters, one vowel, four consonants, one word, a world of meaning. The dictionary defines it as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. To me trust is so much more. Trust is handing someone a gun, allowing them to point it square at your heart and providing the bullet. How can one earn trust? Time? Love? Respect? Have you ever told someone that you trust them? Have you ever trusted anyone? Trust can be earned, but most people take that opportunity to throw it in your face and burn it. After years of time and tears I've decided to stay away from it, but is that really the best thing? When we meet someone new do we push them away to protect ourselves or to keep the amount of effort minimal? Has humanity given up on trust or has trust given up on us? Years of fights and blood over one word. One word. Trust. What does it even mean? What does it mean to you? I'll ask you one question; Have you ever trusted anyone enough to hand them a gun and point it at your heart while providing the bullet?