Do You Feel Their Warmth When They're Not There?

Defeat. Vulnerability. Exposure. Weakness. Love. You can't be in love if you're not defenceless. Every single brick you spent your life building crumbles. You're in love. And it's scary and terrifying but at the same time, it's exhilarating and beautiful. Every feeling you've ever experienced just doesn't compare. You hear in the silence. You see in the dark. You can feel them when they're not there. Because love is two people becoming one. Dependency. It's a kind of independent dependency. Just because we can live without them, doesn't mean you have to. It's the choice of dependency. 

But how can you express this? How can you show someone that you hear them in the silence? That you see them in the dark? That you feel their warmth in the air? Saying those three words simply doesn't measure up in my mind. You can't express this type of love through a few words you say to your family, friends, pets. It's different. It's consuming. It's captivating. You only feel it for one person. So how do you tell them? How can I say "I love you" without saying "I love you?" How do you show them you hear silence, that you see vivid colours in the dark, that their warmth follows you? You can't show them. We're supposed to trust that the three words convey this. But they don't. 

Someone that holds you through tears, listens to your pain, understands your faults, and loves you regardless is something pure. He's pure. Maybe it's not necessary to tell them. Maybe you don't need words. Maybe all you need to do is reciprocate their love. Just keep being the same person you were. Keep expressing your love through actions. Keep holding his hand when he's sick. Look in his eyes. Discuss his favourite books. Listen when he needs to be heard. Hold him when he can't say anything. Be you. And they'll be who they are. And I think the love will keep growing. The merging of two continues. And you'll hear, see, feel things when it doesn't make sense. You'll hear, see, feel them when it doesn't make sense. You're defeated, vulnerable, exposed, weak, and in love. And that's okay.