Impossibly Un-In-Love

What happens when someone tells you they love you but you don't feel the same? I think the best option is to smile uncontrollably and go in for a kiss but is lying and pushing away the feeling just plain wrong? It's possible to have feelings for someone however they could not be "it." As much as I try to feel love and to find a way on the right path it almost seems impossible, like an army of lions is guarding my future. Is it okay to be with someone knowing you'll never feel love? Is it fair to yourself? Is crushing on someone a red flag for an impossible love? Is love impossible?

Breaking Up: A Deep Depressing End

Breakups are hard, and usually if you're the one initiating it, the guilt penetrates so far deep down that you want to pretend you aren't about to say what you want. Avoiding the situation may seem possible at the time and it may be all you want however the end is inevitable; especially if you think about it. Perhaps the problem with breaking up is that there is never a word that feels less depressing but creates the same closure as "break-up." I have, for the most part, been the one initiating the end of a relationship and it is truly a difficult thing, so delicate and even the nicest way of putting it can sound cruel. I think what happens when you fall in love is that breaking up is not even an option so does that mean I was never in love? Does that mean everything I had with one guy is less than he or I thought? When you're in love do you ever want to end it?

Chances - Given and Gone

Chances always remind me of flower petals, you pull one off thinking "He loves me" or "He loves me not" but when those petals hit the ground what happens? When the proposal is left there does it expire or is it an unlimited time offer? I guess it depends on the situation but chances are delicate and choosing which ones to accept alter your life, possibly in dramatic ways. If we get these chances why do we always allow ourselves to blow them off or immediately decide? Isn't it time to step back and take it in? As much as I'd like to say I've chosen the right offers I have made a few wrong ones. Falling in love with someone and buried it, doesn't count as my best decision but it happens. The chance of falling out of love with him never appeared and now I'm stuck in a world where I can only pretend I'm not interested. Chances. The ones I've given have been all or nothing or simplistic but every one counts, but what happens when you have given a chance but it's been left there. I gave him a chance should it be given again or is it gone?

Dreaming in a Miserable Drought

I can dream, I can hope but I'll never get it. The man of my dreams - the one who lives near me across town but will never see me for more than a friend. As droughts form we begin to lose hope in aspects pertaining to the "drought-er" but aren't droughts supposed to be nourished eventually? Aren't we supposed to get what we want after almost 7 years of waiting for it; after 7 years of waiting for him? As much as I attempt to forget and release all my feelings they always come back whether it being 3 years of trying to move on or a memorable summer that will never fade. Maybe in a realistic world life isn't fair - and most of the time it isn't, but haven't you ever wondered if that ONE thing should turn out right? ONE thing you wish for will come true? Well after 7 years of knowing him I still wish for the same thing; a chance with my prince charming, a chance for him to see me differently. Maybe instead of the girl who sings while he accompanies I could be the girl he dreams about. Maybe I'm dreaming in a miserable drought...

Obstacles

Does the lack of jealously in a relationship mean that you're just not committed? That all the connection you thought you once shared was never there? Sometimes I feel like I need to pursue this jealously but I never stick to it, I never actually feel jealous... But what if you become jealous of someone else? Someone you used to care about but never had a chance with - what if all those old feelings are suddenly brought up that you thought you buried. I thought all those feelings were locked in a box and in a treasure hunt that would never be solved - unfortunately it seems I have solved it all on my own. I took the shovel and dug up the raw emotions that I felt with someone else. 3 years may have passed but surprisingly my feelings had not. I had finally found a way to get what I want but I just had one obstacle: My boyfriend.

Start Over

The thing about love, is the give and take - making compromises and realizing everything you've wanted is right there; in front of you. Sometimes when you're with someone that has flaws that stick out to you, the sudden realization that there may be better makes the guilt unfavorable. On one hand sticking to comfort may be worth while but haven't you ever wanted to go on an adventure and feel butterflies? What if the time finally comes when the happiness of comfort is no longer fun? What if those butterflies have flown all the way from your stomach to your mouth? A mouth that may just say "I need a break" or "I think it's time to move on." What do we do when everything we've known is no longer what we want or need? How do we end it with wanting to start over?